Many thanks to Colleen Goodwin for your submission.

“I’d love to (I’ve always wanted to) adopt, but I’m just too old.”

 I hear this quite frequently.  It is usually blurted out (unsolicited) right in the middle of my attempt to answer their question.  I say “attempt” because I usually never get out the full answer before this statement comes out of their mouth.  The question?  Usually, why did two, healthy (OK, kind of chubby), graying, 47 year olds adopt two Special Needs babies from China when they already have two grown biological children. “You’re starting over?” they almost shout in disbelief as their eyes slightly bulge.  It really freaks them when we say we are in the process of adopting a third child.  I can almost hear the weird music from “The Twilight Zone” playing in the background as the questioning quickly stops, the proverbial “Oh” is uttered, and they silently back away as if we are diseased or smell or something…. ok, ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit.  Back to the original point.

Actually, that blurted out statement is a bit of an excuse.  I know because I’ve used it.  I’ve also used, “It’s not fair to make the kid have old parents.”  Psh!  Both of these statements are an attempt to sooth a pricked conscience.  I know of what I write; my conscience has taken many a pricking.  The truth is….nothing could be farther from the truth than these two statements.  God has put within ALL human beings the desire to be loved and cherished.   This includes the 140 million orphans who reside in the world today.  The orphans of this world know something that a large majority of the people on this earth do not.  It is this: that the condition of the outside of a human body has no correlation to the capacity of that body’s heart to love, and the ability of that body’s mind to parent.  The 140 million orphans of this world could care less whether that body is old or young, fat or skinny, black, white, brown or blue.  I’ve learned from experience that an orphan will take you as you are….extra pounds, gray hair, wrinkles and all… and they will never look back.   The only physical attributes that an orphan requires are arms that can hold, lips that can kiss, and a heart with which theirs can commune.

So, if you are one of those who have always wanted to adopt and think that the opportunity has passed you by, take another think.  Give no credence to the “world’s” version of what the perfect mom or dad should be.  The world is deluded.  The orphan knows the truth.  They know the perfect mom or dad is the one that will squeeze them tight (even with flabby arms), look into their eyes and say “I love you.”

Want proof?  Check out the former orphans in this promotional video from the Hope for Orphans ministry. 

Take note of what the kids do not say. http://www.hopefororphans.org/Display.asp?Page=hfovideo

In 2005, my husband and I found ourselves in a Chinese orphanage being shown where our daughter had spent the first eight months of her life.  This was our first adoption, and our daughter was a healthy child.  We were not aware of special needs adoption or programs at that time.

While trying to take in all that was around me, I heard a baby crying in the room.  I turned around to find an infant in a walker with basically no upper lip.  Uneducated at the time regarding this medical condition, I was shocked at what I saw.  I had never seen an unrepaired cleft lip before.  The picture of this precious child was permanently engraved in my mind.

Over the past couple years, I would find myself thinking about that little baby.  What if that child was me?  How would I feel?  An overwhelming urge was growing inside of me that every child needed a family.

After much prayer, we started the adoption process once again in December 2008, but this time we felt God directing us to a little girl with the special needs of cleft lip and cleft palate.  We have now been matched to our beautiful daughter and are currently waiting on our (LSC) Letter Seeking Confirmation.

The waiting can be very difficult at times, but I have chosen to use the time to do as much research and networking regarding cleft lip and palate children as I can find.  I have been very encouraged by so many other families that have had previous special needs adoptions, some at the time with severe needs.  To see these children thriving now in loving homes, just blesses my heart!

~ Cari and Sam Bacon

About 8 years ago one of my sisters and her husband adopted a little girl from China, and at the time encouraged Jason and me to do the same someday.  At the time we had two children and we kept the prospect of adoption in the back of our minds.  Fast forward about four years and we were expecting baby #3.  Maternal instinct told me the baby was a boy, so we decided that as soon as he was born, we’d start the paper work to adopt a little girl from China.  However, baby #3, came out to be Rebecca so we weren’t sure what to do at that point because like most people, we assumed that there weren’t little boys in China waiting for a family.  We knew that if we did try to add another child to our family, through birth or adoption, that we wanted him or her to be close in age to Rebecca, just as our older two are close in age.

When Rebecca was about six months old, Jason and I really started talking about what to do- actively try to birth another child, look into adopting a boy (if we had the choice, we wanted to have two children of each sex), or maybe our hands were full enough at the time and not actively try to pursue either one.  What to do was a nightly conversation in our house and our prayers centered around guidance in what path to choose.  We researched adoption in all forms on the internet and learned that there are healthy young boys in China needing homes.  We started leaning towards adoption because we felt we’ve been so blessed to have three biological children, and there are so many children in the world without families.

Right around that time (January-March 2006), GWCA (same agency my sister used) had a day-long seminar scheduled for March 18 in San Antonio (where we lived at the time.)  With some encouragement from Ruth (my sister), we signed up to go.  Jason attended the morning part by himself and I joined him for the afternoon.   After hearing stories and how the process worked, we were quite convinced that there was no way that we would NOT adopt a child.  Plus, the process had been moving quite swiftly- families were being matched with a child about 9 months after log-in date, which meant we could possibly have our new son before we had to move from San Antonio about 15 months later, in the summer of 2007.  This was a positive because we had some good friends in San Antonio that would be able to help with the other 3 kids while we traveled. 

Two days after the seminar, we faxed our application to GWCA.  Thus, the great paper chase began!  GWCA sent our dossier to China on September 1, 2006.  It was logged into China’s adoption system on September 26.  Then the waiting began!  At this point, it was taking about one year from log-in date to be matched with a child, so we were thinking we’d be matched in early fall of 2007.  However, as time went on, the wait became longer and longer.  By Christmas of 2006, if the wait did not continue to increase, we were thinking we’d be matched around Christmas of 2007, about 15 months after log-in date.  Time continued to pass and the wait continued to grow.

That same fall of 2006, our son Jacob began kindergarten.  Soon afterwards, he started talking about his friend, Willow, from his class and how he liked to be with her.  I joined Jacob for lunch within the first month of school and noticed that he was sitting by Willow, who happened to be in a wheelchair/stroller.  I asked him during that lunch conversation who his favorite friend in his class was, and he pointed at Willow.  Jason and I kept hearing more and more at home of the things that he did with Willow (helping her, partnering with her, etc.)  I chaperoned on his class’ field trip to the pumpkin farm in October and was able to observe for myself what was happening daily in the classroom between Jacob and Willow.  He took it upon his shoulders to make sure that she was safe, cared for, and included.  While on the wagon ride, they had their arms around each other (Jacob making sure that Willow wouldn’t fall over.)  At their picnic lunch, Jacob sat by her and afterwards grabbed her in a bear hug, saying, “Willow, I’m going to marry you!”  At home, Jason and I also started hearing from Jacob about the surgeries that Willow had and how she would be out of school for a few days.

At the same time, I attended a Bible study and started hearing prayer requests for one woman’s kindergarten-age daughter who was hospitalized or going in for surgery.  I discovered that this woman, Dawn, was Willow’s mom.  We started talking, and I learned about Willow:  She was adopted from Taiwan in March 2006 as a waiting child.  She was listed as having clubfeet, heart problems, and cerebral palsy.  Through much testing once back in the states, it was discovered that she had congenital myopathy.  Her overall muscle tone was very weak, and she had gross and fine motor skill delays.  She contracted illnesses very easily, had a weak walk, could not form a true smile, and her speech was difficult to understand, among other issues.  Jacob overlooked all of those things and loved her the same.  Mid-year, I started helping in his classroom on a weekly basis and got to know Willow, too.  She was a complete joy.

Dawn and her husband also have an adopted son from Korea who was also a Waiting Child.  Dawn shared a lot with me about the Waiting Child program (in general, not specific to any country or adoption agency).  Without much knowledge, we had previously assumed that all special needs kids waiting for adoption had medical conditions that were severe and profound and we weren’t sure we could handle that with three other children and moving so often (military family).   We discovered that was not the case; there are waiting children with minor and/or correctable medical needs!  After never even considering a waiting child, we were now riding a wave of enthusiasm in hopes that there might be a little boy waiting for us!  We felt like we had the capabilities, love, and resources to parent a child that might have special needs.  We know that Jacob and Willow being placed in the same class was NOT by chance.   By having them in the same class, our hearts were opened, and we were hopeful that there was a little boy waiting for us just as we were waiting for him.  This was all part of God’s handiwork in bringing Joseph to us.

We took our first look at Great Wall’s Waiting Child list in November 2006.  Although there were no children that matched our desired age and gender, we anxiously awaited the release of the new list at the end of April 2007.  Again, there was no match (age and gender) for us.

In August of 2007, GWCA changed how they did their waiting child program.  Instead of posting on their website the list of waiting children (names, gender, medical need) that they received from China and then interested families applying for a certain child that you wanted, GWCA asked all interested parents to send in an application for a waiting child.  The application consisted of essays plus stating whether you would take a child with mild or severe medical problems.  There was also a list of about 30 special medical needs and we had to check ones that we might be willing to accept.  We also stated our gender choice and age.  We completed our application and sent it into GWCA August 24, 2007 (this was nearly one year after our dossier was originally sent to China).  We didn’t think that our chances were very high for getting a young boy with a mild condition- from what we’d seen for waiting children, they had tended to be older and.  And even if there was one, what were the chances that GWCA would choose us to look at his file?

From the beginning we knew that this adoption was in God’s hands and He knew exactly who our little son was.  However, the waiting was very difficult at times.  At this point (August 2007) families were waiting 21 months from log-in until referral which would put our referral time at June 2008.  However, it was common knowledge that this timeframe would continue to lengthen.   Our biggest comfort was knowing that God was in control of this, and He knew the perfect time to add a little boy to our family.

On Tuesday, September 4 in my nightly prayers with the kids, we asked God to give us some sign of who our little brother might be.  On Wednesday, September 5, Rebecca and I got home around noon from grocery shopping.  There was a message from Sarah Clark at Great Wall.  She was looking over our application and had a few questions about it; we should call her back.  I thought, “There is no way they would leave a message like this without having a child for us!!!”    When we finally spoke about an hour later, Sarah asked a few questions and then said, “Well, we have a little boy that we think would be a good match for you.”  She went on to tell me a little about him, that he was 13.5 months old, born with imperferated anus, has had three surgeries, etc.”   I was so overwhelmed with how perfectly God had this moment arranged for us and had this little boy chosen for us long ago.  After telling me a little more, Sarah sent via e mail his photos, translated growth and medical reports, plus other documents in Chinese.  We had two weeks to decide if we would like to accept him.  When I finally got a hold of Jason two hours later, I just asked him to come home because I had to talk to him about something important.  He came home a little while later and I had Joseph’s picture on the computer screen.  The rest of Wednesday evening we studied the documents, pictures, and consulted with a few friends familiar with special needs adoption.  Really, we couldn’t stop looking at his pictures.  

Thursday, Jason went to class; I did a little more research about his condition.  Jason came home around 2:00 and after a little more discussion, we called Sarah to accept him. 
We felt so confident about God choosing this child for us…

God waited to reveal him to us so that we could be settled into our new home in Kansas and not have the added stress of a move while getting ready to travel to China.

God placed us in a cul de sac of neighbors who quickly became like family and were more than happy to help w/ our other 3 kids while we were gone.

Joseph is from the same province as his cousin (our sister’s daughter.) Joseph is very close in age to Rebecca, only 14 months younger, just as we had wanted.

A friend of a friend adopted a little girl from China with imperforated anus in early 2007 so we had a little background of what IA was.

Right after we moved to Kansas I was at the pool and met a mommy, Brandyn Affolder, with a newly adopted daughter from China (and asked many questions of her that day)   Thus, we had people right there who had recently traveled to China to answer our many travel questions.

Finally, there was another family at Ft Leavenworth who adopted a little girl from China with IA a few years prior..  Since they lived right there, we had someone to turn to for medical help if and when needed.

After accepting Joseph, we started doing a lot of research about Joseph’s birth defect and found out that there are many other complications that often come along with imperferated anus, including kidney, bladder, spine, and limb issues.  There were times when we thought, “Oh my goodness, are we really going to be able to handle this?” but we kept going back to trusting God that he planned this child for us.

We finally rec’d our travel dates and left for China Jan 10.  Meeting Joseph a few days later was a whirlwind- we had last minute nervousness about how to care for an almost 18 month old who we’ve just met..  Joseph was brought to our hotel; after about 15 mins the director and nannies left and Joseph was in our care.  We went back to our hotel room and fed him a bottle b/c they’d told us he was really hungry.  The rest of our time in China flew by and we returned home to our other children and settled into being a family of six.

In April, Joseph and I traveled to Cincinatti for about 2 weeks to have the experts in colorectal care look at him and also to have tests done to check for other issues with his spine, bladder, and kidneys (all normal).  He had surgery there to fix up what was done in China and his IA is a lifelong issue.  In light of all of this, his special need is such a small part of what he is!  It’s not something I think about when I look at him or think of as a burden. It just is what it is and we’ll help him along the way to do what he has to do to stay healthy.  In fact, if I had to do it all over again, I would choose the special needs route.  Although we know nothing about his birth mom, I think about her and pray that God can give her peace of heart and mind knowing that her son is loved so much. 

Now, nearly 2 years later, I feel like we are a family that has had Joseph since his birth.  Rebecca and Joseph fight like any siblings that are a year apart, but also are the sweetest, best playmates.  Joseph adores his older two siblings- running to and yelling their names as they come home from school.  I can tell that he is secure and happy within our family.

Being in our late 40’s with three children, we thought our family was complete.  But, during our journey to our daughters from China, we’d met many people along the way who had adopted children through the Waiting Child program.  We thought, “if” we adopted again, we would also take that path.  “If” became “when” and in the fall of 2004, we started watching waiting child listings, looking for someone that seemed right for our family.  On Christmas Eve of that year, we looked at the waiting child listings from GWCA, and there was the most precious little boy looking back at us.  We knew immediately that he was our son.  We researched albinism and felt that it was a very manageable need.  In fact, we had helped to sponsor a child in foster care with albinism.  We began our paperwork right away and brought him home 8 months later.

Matthew was 33 months old when he came home.  He was quite delayed and not yet talking, and he could throw a temper tantrum like no other.  But he understood us very quickly, he was curious about everything, he learned very quickly; we knew he would be okay.  We had him evaluated through early intervention, and got him started in preschool as soon as he turned 3.  Watching his transformation was nothing short of amazing.  In less than a year, he was on target for language and overall development.  And he learned to love and be part of a family. 

What about his albinism?  Well, Matthew IS legally blind.  His corrected distance vision is about 20/400.  He gets very close to things to see them.  He is learning to read in both Braille and print.  We sunscreen him when he goes outside just as we do all of our children.  He sees his ophthalmologist once a year.  He also ice skates, swims, canoes, runs fast, climbs adeptly to the top of any play structure, and slides down the fire poles.  He loves to play with Legos and other building toys, and is a good artist.  Most casual observers do not know that he has any vision issues.  He is in first grade this year and doing well in school.  He also has a great smile, and is a very loving and sweet boy. 

We’ve learned much about vision impairment since we adopted Matthew, and now know that with proper education and the right tools, vision impairment is nothing more than an inconvenience.  In fact, we went on to adopt another visually impaired boy in 2007.

Greetings everyone,

The May 2010 Edition of our Angels of Hope Newsletter is now available online at:

http://www.gwca.org/files/wc_newsletter/may-2010

Enjoy and happy reading!

Sincerely,

Great Wall China Adoption

In the Fall of 2008 my husband and I travelled to China to adopt our first child, Allison. She was four-years-old at the time. When we visited her orphanage a few days after her adoption the staff told us that she had a best friend, Rainbow, and that the girls were very, very close. The staff showed us Rainbow’s Half the Sky Memory Book so that we could see pictures of her. We asked if we could meet Rainbow as we knew our daughter would want to see her and say good-bye. Plus, we hoped to take pictures of the girls together. We were told by the Social Welfare Institute staff, though, that Rainbow was at her foster home. We were puzzled by that since our daughter, Allison, had lived at the orphanage her entire life.

While we were still in China we had two disposable cameras developed that we had sent to the SWI staff in care packages to our daughter. They had been kind enough to take pictures of Allison with her friends from her HTS preschool class. In almost every picture Allison and Rainbow were together. In one they even had their arms around each other hugging. When Allison saw the photos in our hotel room in China she would point to the pictures of Rainbow and tell us her name over and over. When we looked closely at the pictures we realized Rainbow had cleft hands and feet.

When we returned home from China I contacted our adoption agency, Great Wall China Adoption, to see what we could do to help Rainbow. They checked the shared list at the time and didn’t see her listed. I sent them all the information I had on her including the pictures of her from the disposable cameras. Fortunately, I knew her full name and her general age. Plus, I had pictures of her. They were so kind and agreed to keep an eye out for her. In the meantime, I sent an email to every email address I could find on the Half the Sky website. Since the girls were from a HTS orphanage I thought they might be able to help me.

Half the Sky is the most incredible organization. For those of you who are unfamiliar with them, they are a non-profit organization started ten years ago by adoptive families with children from China. They do all sorts of wonderful things to help orphans in China. Anyway, I got an email back from someone at HTS explaining to me that Rainbow had been placed with a foster family in the HTS Family Village Program. Foster parents in the Family Village Program receive a stipend from HTS and in return they agree to foster up to six children with rather significant special needs until the children reach adulthood. It is a permanent foster program for children that the SWI feels won’t be adopted. At that time HTS told me that Rainbow was in a good situation with a loving foster family who she would live with throughout her childhood. However, we still worried about Rainbow’s long term future in China. What would her future hold in China with her special needs and orphan status.

By the time I had figured all of this out, we had been home from China with Allison for four or five months. However, not a day had gone by that she hadn’t mentioned her friend, Rainbow, back in China. In fact, Rainbow was the only person in China Allison ever talked about. We were starting to feel a real connection to this little girl. We were very lucky to become sponsors of Rainbow’s foster family through HTS. With sponsorship we knew we were helping Rainbow, albeit in a small way. More importantly, though, we knew we would receive photos and updates about Rainbow and her foster siblings twice a year. When the first pictures arrived Allison was thrilled, and we were pleased to see Rainbow smiling and having fun with her foster family. Even though Rainbow had a foster family that loved her, we were still concerned about her future in China. The combination of her orphan status and her special need could make life in China very difficult for her.

Fast Forward about a year. . . in February of this year I sent Rainbow’s foster family a package for Chinese New Year. I received a very nice email from a staff worker at the Social Welfare Institute thanking me for the package. In the email she told me that paperwork had been submitted for Rainbow to be adopted internationally. I was so surprised since I had been told she was living in a permanent foster situation. Anyway, my husband and I were thrilled. Despite the fact that Rainbow lives with a loving foster family, we worry what her future will be like in China with her special need, cleft hands and feet.

Stephanie, the Waiting Child goddess at Great Wall China Adoption, has been watching for Rainbow to show up on the shared list ever since I received that email from the SWI. Finally, last week Rainbow was there. My husband and I feel strongly that she will be an incredible blessing to a family and are doing everything possible to increase her exposure in hopes of finding the family she is meant to join.  If you think you might be her family please contact me or Stephanie at GWCA. Even if you aren’t a Great Wall family she will be more than happy to help you.

Rainbow’s Blog: http://www.abestfriendswish.blogspot.com/

We are the Oerter family and we adopted a little boy on September 14, 2009.  Our son, Zachary, was brought to us through the waiting child program.  Zachary was born with bi-lateral cleft lip and palate.  Zachary had surgeries at approximately 7 months of age and 16 months of age to correct both his lip and palate. 

We made the decision to adopt from China on September 14, 2007.  We originally applied for the referral program, but had occasionally discussed the possibility of submitting an application to the waiting child program.  After many discussions, we decided that the waiting child program was in our hearts and we submitted an application.  We carefully studied the conditions we thought we would be able to handle and decided that cleft lip and palate was a condition we were comfortable with and had the resources available to provide our child with everything he needed. 

After submitting our application, we began to wait; knowing a call could come at any time.  We got a call regarding Zachary at almost 11 p.m. on a Thursday night.  We immediately requested his file and Stephanie forwarded everything to us in minutes.  Once we saw the little guy, we knew he was our son. 

We got our travel approval and went to meet our boy.  Zachary was a little over two on his gotcha day.  He was full of energy on gotcha day.  He was obviously well loved at his orphanage.  His nannies left us with a full photo album and several additional roles of film; all pictures of Zachary.  We instantly realized that Zachary is a special little boy.  He trusted us instantly and went to bed that first night without issue.  Our time in China was wonderful and both Sandi and I bonded quickly with Zachary.

Since coming home, we’ve learned more about him and are continually amazed by how smart and funny he is.  He learns quickly and already has a complete understanding of English.  He’s also quite an athlete.  He must have watched a lot of sports in China because he knows how most sports are played.  He is particularly good at basketball.  He also likes to play the keyboard and sing.  His concerts consist of some covers of classic children’s songs as well as some originals.  Since Zachary was adopted with a special need, he was eligible for services by our county department of education.  Zachary was evaluated and tested at or above his age level in the majority of his cognitive and motor skills.  The only concern was speech development, which is expected when a child is post operative for cleft lip and palate.  Zachary learned a good amount of English over the last few months, but there are a few sounds that he is currently unable to make.  Zachary will receive speech therapy to assist in development of his speech, so we know his speech will continue to improve.  We are aware that Zachary will need medical treatment over the upcoming years, but any potential needs are very manageable.  Zachary will likely have some dental needs and may he may need to have another surgery on his palate down the line, but we know it is coming so we will be well prepared.

Zachary is a happy, cute and engaging little boy.  He loves receiving attention from people.  He likes to imitate adults, which is really funny.  He is in daycare and adjusted well.  We got pictures from our daycare during the afternoon of his first day and we saw him playing and smiling.  On most days, he has so much fun that we have a hard time getting him to leave.  As we leave, he has to say goodbye to just about everyone in his room as well as everyone we pass on the way out.

Zachary just turned three a few days ago.  We had a great birthday party and he sang happy birthday to himself.  We can’t remember life without him.  Due to his condition, Zachary will have some additional needs over the next few years, but he is a very healthy little guy.  Our family has a special place for the waiting child program and hopes to submit another application in the future. 

Sandi, Tom and Zachary

Greetings everyone,

The April 2010 Edition of our Angels of Hope Newsletter is now available online at:

http://www.gwca.org/files/wc_newsletter/april-2010

Enjoy and happy reading!

Sincerely,

Great Wall China Adoption

Greetings everyone,

The March 2010 Edition of our Angels of Hope Newsletter is now available online at:

http://www.gwca.org/files/wc_newsletter/march2010

Enjoy and happy reading!

Sincerely,

Great Wall China Adoption

Every morning when I crawled out of bed my line of sight was focused on the room across the hall.  Our baby nursery was full to brim with a crib, toys, clothes, diapers … everything except a baby.  The nursery had sat empty for so long that dust was actually creeping up everywhere because I really never wanted to go into that room much.  The room reminded me of too many dreams and too much emptiness.   Our dossier was sitting in China waiting to be matched with a child, but the progress had started to crawl along and we knew it would be months and months before it was our turn to be parents.

There was nothing my husband or I could do about the wait to adopt a child, but we could do something fun and worthwhile with our time.  He focused his spare time on enjoying the outdoor life of fishing and hiking.  I focused my energy on my hobby of entering cooking and recipe contests.   One day our two hobbies collided as I was called as a finalist at a national cooking contest scheduled for the same time he was planning to be out hiking the Appalachian Trail.  So we decided to combine our two trips.  We would drive south together, attend my cook-off and then I would drop him off at the trail.  Once on the trail, he intended to hike for three weeks and would be without cell phone reception most of the time.

The day of the cook-off was gorgeous weather and tons of fun.  After not winning a cash prize that day, we headed back to our hotel to relax and to get ready for our drive the next day when we would be saying goodbye for a few weeks. Kevin turned on our laptop computer and at about the same time we remembered that Great Wall China Adoptions had planned to post a new waiting children’s list that day.  We logged on and read through many of the files.  We were reading the special needs files more out of curiosity than anything.  We had never fully considered the waiting children’s program because we knew that in a few short months our dossier would be at the top of the pile and ready to be matched with a non-special needs infant.  Our empty nursery soon would be full! 

He was the first one to read through the list and then he passed the computer over to me.  After a few minutes, he said, “Did you read the file about the 13 year old girl?”  Actually, I had not yet.  So I opened her file.   No photos were included but I read the few pages of text about her.  After 13 years of walking on this earth there were just a few sentences describing a young girl who had endured much in her life yet still after seeing many younger children being adopted she had asked that her file be sent out in hopes of finding a family .

At this point she was 13 years old and just 8 months away from being considered “too old” to be adopted.  On the day a Chinese child turns 14 he/she is no longer available for international adoption.  On a 14th birthday when many kids are excitedly opening presents and eating cake, a boy or girl residing in one of China’s orphanages is experiencing the first day of the rest of his/her life … a life without the hope of every being adopted internationally.

Something in this young girl’s file clicked with both my husband and me.  We talked endlessly about “why” we had decided to adopt and finally were able to put it into words.  We simply wanted to be a family.  I wanted to be a mom and he wanted to be a dad.  Together we wanted to be parents and to be part of a family with a child.  We thought back and laughed at how we had contorted our faces when in one of our adoption seminars we had been asked to draw an image of what we thought our child would look like.  We had no set ideal image of our child – no race, no gender, no age and no size.  So, we had drawn a stick figure with an arrow pointing to the image labeled “our son or our daughter.”  We knew the rest of the information would be revealed to us in time and we were excited to meet the person who would one day replace that stick figure drawing.

We stayed on an extra day at the hotel to give us time to talk more and to think.  We sat together and carefully went over each question on the special needs adoption request form.  We said we realized as first time parents that we lacked the background in having raised a child through the teen years, but we actually saw a huge bonus in our ability to spend all of our time with our child.  As first time parents, we knew we would have the extra time needed to help an older child to learn English, to be there to help with homework and studying, to help our child adapt to a new culture and to simply be there for “whatever”. 

The phone call that changed our lives came in the early morning hours on July 5.  We had stayed up late watching fireworks and were still in bed when the phone rang.  The voice on the other end said, “You’re parents!  Run to your computer and I’m sending you photos of your daughter.”  We almost fell down the steps trying to race to get there!  We kept hitting the refresh button on the email until finally three pictures arrived.  There she was ….  our teen daughter!  We were parents!!

The next few weeks were a blur.  The nursery came down and the teen girl room went up.  We talked with our school system about what options our daughter would have. We secured an English tutor.  We chatted with other parents about what things their teen kids liked.  We filled our daughter’s new room with all things girly and pink. We bought an Ipod and Kevin’s Chinese students helped select some current Chinese music to put on it.   We packed and we flew off to China. 

And we’ve never looked back.  We’ve been home 2-1/2 years now.  Our daughter is 16 and in high school.   I would by no means attempt to tell you that it’s been an easy road.  Sarah knew no English when we met, she left her country and her friends behind to start her new life and she had to get to know two crazy Americans who showed up and wanted to be called “mom and dad.”   But the one constant thing in our lives is family.  We experience the ups and down together.  We are family. 

You can read a bit about our family’s journey on our blog at http://windingvines.blogspot.com .  Our journey to China is chronicled at the start of the blog back in 2007.