In May of 2006, our family took a step we had been dreaming of for years. We began the journey to adopt a little girl (or possibly twin girls) from China. At the time, the whole process took approximately 9-14 months….it seemed like a lifetime in our minds. We excitedly planned our new baby girl’s name(s) and began to fill her closet. We hoped for a real beauty. We would dress her up, take her places and show her off to everyone we met. That was OUR plan, anyway….God had other plans.

Fast forward 2 years. We were still waiting, and not very patiently I might add. We had considered the Waiting Child program and had even looked at a child’s file, but felt we just could not handle having a Special Needs child. We just didn’t want to be saddled with medical bills, and the hassle of having a child with medical problems (I’m being very honest).

On Wednesday, July 30th, 2008, I listened to a very dear friend preach a sermon. He told the story of Kevin Carter, a journalist, who took a Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, and of his subsequent suicide (Google it). I thought it was such a cruel, sad story. What my friend said next though, just ROCKED MY WORLD. He talked about how we like to believe ourselves accepting of everyone and tell ourselves that we would do anything to help our fellow man, but when the opportunity arises, if it is not convenient or doesn’t fit into our “plan,” then we usually find some excuse not to do it. My friend had no idea that through him, God was speaking directly to me. Wasn’t the truth, really, that I didn’t want a Special Needs child because of the time involved (I may not get to go shopping as much), the expense, and “for Pete’s sake, what would people think?!” Wasn’t it, really, that I wanted what I wanted and wasn’t truly thinking of the child at all? I felt like God was saying to me, “How can you judge this journalist, when in a way, you are no better.” I was totally appalled at my own selfishness. If a child’s file came under my eyes, and I was able to make a difference in that child’s life, and DIDN’T because of my own shallowness, wasn’t I then responsible, in part, for that child’s plight in life?

I was very ashamed of my lack of compassion, and I told my husband that I would call Great Wall in the morning and ask them for the file of the youngest child, girl or boy, and would not specify physical condition. I had always felt especially repulsed with the look of a cleft lip/palate for some reason, and had at one time, told my husband I would consider any minor correctible need, but not that one. I called GWCA the next morning and spoke with Leigh Anne. She told me she had an 18 month old baby boy. What was his disability? You guessed it… bilateral cleft lip/cleft palate. She also said he had a “saddle-nose.” Fifteen minutes later, I received the file and opened it to find the sweetest face I had ever seen. I didn’t understand why Leigh Anne had said he had a “saddle-nose.” It didn’t look that way to me. Long story short, after waiting 2 years for our “perfect little girl,” we applied for this little boy on July 31, 2008 (my birthday) and received him into our arms on October 13th, 2008. That day will always be one of the very best days of my life.

While in China, we had the chance to meet a beautiful baby girl with quadriplegia cerebral palsy. She had a beautiful face with a gorgeous dimple. She was 4 days younger than our baby. We admired her, congratulated her new parents and wished them the best. Then we totally focused on our new little one. The love we felt for him could have been no more than if we had given birth to him ourselves. He was beautiful, charismatic, and very intelligent! We named him Elijah.

By the summer of 2009, Elijah had gone through 3 surgeries to repair his clefts, with more scheduled down the road. The plastic surgeon told us he had fixed Elijah’s nose “so it wouldn’t be spread all over his face.” I remember thinking “What do you mean ‘spread all over his face’?!?” This surgeon is a good, honest and wonderful man, and I knew he meant no offense, so I held my peace and let it go. I couldn’t figure out why people kept commenting on how good he looked after his surgery. He looked no different to me. Well…….just recently, I was going through some photos we took of Elijah in China. I could not believe it! His nose really WAS spread all over his face! He DID have a “saddle-nose”….. I just couldn’t see it. They say “Love is blind,” and in my case… it truly was.

Remember the little girl we met in China? Through a series of miracles, in September, 2009, we were blessed to have her join our family. Now I have my “twins”…though not exactly the way I had planned it. Although she is disabled, she is as smart as a whip! I am amazed at her level of cognition. She has already proven that she can walk and her prognosis is excellent. Our lives are now filled with therapists, physicians and specialists of every kind. We travel many miles a week to appointments, but you know, it’s OK. People often ask me “How do you do it?” I tell them that sometimes I don’t. There are days when I’m not sure what day it is or even who I am. People tell us what good people we are (we hate that), we tell them, “Thank you, but no, we are not.” We are very undeserving of the blessings we have received in these 2 babies.

I am in no way indicting anyone else. I realize that not everyone is called to adopt Special Needs, but I would encourage you, if you are considering it, not to make the same mistake I almost made. Don’t close your heart to a child with needs other than “minor, correctible.” I am sometimes haunted by the thought of what would have happened to our babies, and the joys we would have missed, had we not put aside our fears and self-centeredness. Our babies’ physical bodies will never be perfect or unscarred, but they still hold a human soul. Our babies’ disabilities have not diminished their capacity to love us, and to accept love from us. They laugh at funny things and cry when they are sad, just like “normal” children. They play and take naps, just like “normal” children. By the way, who decided what is normal anyway? Examine your heart, pray about it, and if you feel called, step out on faith. You have no clue what you are missing! There may be little arms out there, though maybe not perfect ones, that are waiting just for you.

WOW!  What a difference a year makes!!  This time last year I was in China meeting my daughter for the first time!  Although I started this motherhood job a lot later than most, I think I’m having more fun.  Yes, I am one of those mother’s who is amazed by everything her daughter does and thinks she’s the greatest, cutest, funniest and brightest kid EVER!!  Lol

How did I get here?  In October 2006, I applied to Great Wall hoping I would get accepted – agencies have a limited number of applications they can accept from single women.  On December 5th I got a call (the first of many) Application accepted – the journey begins!!

At that time, the wait was about 18 months – my LID was April 16, 2007.  I calculated that I could travel to China in December 2008.  However, as the months flew by, the wait got longer and longer.

In February 2008, I called Great Wall to see where I really was in this long line.  There were 1200 families in front of me! I’m not getting any younger – am I going to be able to wait much longer?  When Leigh Anne asked if I would consider the Waiting Child program, I thought:  I’m a single mom-to-be and that didn’t seem fair to adopt a special needs baby I couldn’t take care of all the time.  I work full time!?

Of course, I started thinking and researching the different special needs.  This process was harder than deciding to adopt!  You have to do some soul searching to decide what you can handle – mentally, physically, and financially.  You go through many emotions, you feel prejudiced, and you feel you are being too selective or too restrictive.  In the end, you have to be realistic and determine what is best for you and your child.

I completed my application in April 2008 and starting waiting, again!

In July, I went to Disney World my sister, Kristi, and her family – 4 kids.  Most people think this would be a good birth control plan, but for me, it made me even more ready for this new adventure.  I also started contemplating another change in my plan – switching to a boy or a girl.  I had a great vacation, but got really sick – lost my voice, sinus infection, bronchitis.

On my way back to California, I met my mom in Atlanta for a weekend with relatives.  We had a great time, but on the way home I got stuck at the airport for hours – the best delay I ever experienced!  My got THE call!!  I answered the phone and it was Leigh Anne and Stephanie.  (We had all gotten to know each other very well and they couldn’t decide who got to call me, so they both called.)  I said to my mom:  “It’s Great Wall.  I think they have a baby for me.”  Then to Leigh Anne and Stephanie:  “Do you have a baby for me?”  It was quite funny!! 

They did have a baby for me!!  (I still tear up thinking about this day)  Her name was Yu Jia Yue.  She was from Jiangsu Province.  She weighs 17.5 lbs and is 28 inches tall.  Her birthday is June 28, 2007.  She has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate.  OMG!!  I was soooo excited and trying to yell, but I had no voice!  And, yes I was crying the whole time, too!  The reality of me becoming a mother is here!!  They sent me a file to review her pictures, health stats, etc.  I needed to get back to them within 48 hours!!  Not a lot of time and I’m in Atlanta! 

Of course, I couldn’t find an Internet connection, so I called Kristi, who I just spent a week with.  She asked:  “After spending a week with us and our 4 kids, you still want to do this?!”  We laughed.  I gave her access to my email – she was the first to see pictures of my baby.  She then sent me the file to my Blackberry.  So, my first glimpse of my baby was on a 2”x2” screen, but she was beautiful!

I was so caught up in the frenzy of calling my family; I almost missed my flight!!  Here I am in an enclosed space surrounded by people who don’t care that I just found out “I’m pregnant!!  And I am really starting to feel sick.  This was the longest flight EVER!!  Since I had so much time to think, I decided I liked the name Jia.   

I finally got home at 1 AM.  I had to see the pictures and read everything Great Wall sent.  The pictures were just the sweetest thing I had ever seen.  And… of course, the reality of it all set in and 1,000 questions ran through my mind – What if this was this too good to be true?  What if there was something else wrong with her?  Could I handle it?  Could I “fix” it?  What if she was the perfect baby for me?  What if… What if …and more what ifs?  I kept coming back to:  how could I not accept this referral?  It was meant to be!  Right?! 

A doctor reviewed Jia’s paperwork.  He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary and thought based on what the records showed she was on track for both growth and development.  I think I had already made up my mind, but it was a relief to get a professional opinion.

Now another paperwork process!!  Oh, yeah and more waiting.  Finally, the day before Thanksgiving, I got my travel approval!!  I’m going to China on December 11th!! 

Although I was excited to meet Jia, I had some fears – What can she eat?  How does she eat?  Does she take a bottle?  I already loved this baby I hadn’t even met yet.  Will she like me?  Will she cry?  How will this transition work? 

Monday, December 15th — Gotcha Day – one of the best days of my life, so far.  I learned Jia had been in a foster home since her lip repair surgery in November.  I gave her a baby doll she immediately hugged and didn’t let go of.  She was intrigued by my brother and me – not sad or mad and just went along with it.  She ate almost everything and fit the name the orphanage gave her – Yue means “happy.”  I think on day four I called her my daughter in my blog and people noticed – I think it finally set in that Jia was my daughter!!  The only problem – she wouldn’t drink from a bottle and didn’t know how to drink from a glass.  I was getting concerned.

On Wednesday, we went to the orphanage in Changshu.  I got to meet her foster mother, I was happy to meet the “mother” who had been taking care of my baby.  Jia was immediately excited about seeing her, but also conflicted – she went to her foster mother, then to me, and back again. 

Jia didn’t know how to drink from a bottle because they fed her liquids with a spoon!  Does that say love and caring? I thought so!  When it was time to go, Jia was really sad and cried for the first time.  She cried until she couldn’t see her foster mother any more.  Her foster mother was also crying.  I was very sad for both of them.

Jia and I bonded very quickly.  Her personality came out more and more each day.  Within a couple of days my worries about eating and bonding were gone.  Our last night in China was the second time Jia cried.  She didn’t want me to put her down.  She had to sleep with me – I felt this was a big step for us.  I loved the closeness and that she allowed me to let her know I was going to be there.

We got home on Christmas Eve – what a great Christmas present!!  My mom was at the airport with my sister Karen and her family, and my brother’s wife.  It was a great homecoming.  Thank goodness my mom was there to help us adjust – mostly to the time zone.  Everything else just seemed to fall into place.

Since I was only off work for 3 months, I wanted to ensure Jia had her surgery while I was on leave.  This decision was also a struggle – I wanted her to have the surgery so soon for a couple of reasons:  1) this surgery usually takes place before children are one; and 2) I wanted to be able to spend the time with her while she recovered.  On the other hand, I questioned this – is it too early?  Do we need to bond more before I put her through this painful surgery?  Some say it helps the bonding process. 

Jia had palate surgery on March 4th.  While it was a good 2 week recovery, she did really well.  She had to eat soft foods for 8 weeks.  I had to watch what she put in her mouth.  And that was about it.  Not as hard as I though it was going to be.  Jia started day care soon after her surgery.  It took her 2 weeks to stop crying when I left her.  She loves her day care and they love her.

It’s been a year since we’ve been home and Jia is loving life and thriving!  She has grown 6 inches and gained 7 pounds.  Her speech is a little behind – her biggest struggle is the air/nasal sounds that she will have to learn to work around.

What’s next?  Speech therapy in the spring.  Her next surgery probably will be right before she starts kindergarten – when kids are more aware of what they look like and what other kids think of them. 

Since Jia is only 2 ½, I haven’t had to deal with the questions about why she looks the way she does or why she talks that way.  I also haven’t had to deal with many adoption related or single mother questions.  Questions most adoptive parents will face one day.  So far, it’s been all the expected dealings with a cleft lip/palate and adopted child.  I know the questions will come and we’ll be ready for them.

As you read my story, it’s a story of adoption, not special needs.  When I look at Jia, I don’t see that she has a cleft lip/palate or that she’s Chinese.  She’s my daughter and I love her with all my heart.  Yes, we have some hurdles in front of this, but I’m doing what I need to do to help her learn, grow and be the best person she can be.  Her “special need” is only part of this whole story, but so is adoption and single parenthood.

Being a single mom isn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be (don’t get me wrong, there are some hard times), but because Jia is who she is, she makes being a mom easier than it should be and more fun that I thought it would be.  (Is this all going to come back to bite me when she’s teenager?)  Jia seems like she’s always been a part of my life. 

While I was waiting for Jia, I kept hearing people say they really believed in this red thread proverb.  I thought it was a sweet proverb, but thought most people were just glad to finally have their babies.  Now, I know – there really is a red thread that connects people who are suppose to be together.  Jia’s Chinese name:  Yu Jia Yue means to foresee a happy family – mission accomplished!

Interested in adopting a Waiting Child or just finding out more information about the Waiting Child Program? Learn more about this wonderful program from the convenience of your own home by registering for our Waiting Child Webinar.

Our Webinar Host, Allison Stock is an adoptive mom of three. She will help you learn the differences between the regular dossier program and the waiting child program. There will be a discussion of resources and methods for researching the special needs of the children available for adoption and questions for you to think about as a family. She will share information on the current waiting child process as well as her personal experiences with her adoption journeys through both the regular dossier track and waiting child programs.

December 29th, 2009 at 7pm Central Time 
January 12th, 2010 at 7pm Central Time 
January 26th, 2010 at 7pm Central Time 
February 9th, 2010 at 7pm Central Time 
February 23rd, 2010 at 7pm Central Time 
March 9th, 2010 at 7pm Central Time 
March 23rd, 2010 at 7pm Central Time

When some of us think of raising children with special needs, we look only at the added challenges that parenting these children can bring – but there is so much more to consider.  We must not forget that the experience of raising a special needs child provides a unique experience that paves the way to an incomparable emotional bond.  These waiting angels are deaf or hearing impaired and are longing to find their forever families.  With so much love to give, one may just be the perfect addition to your family.  If one touches your heart, please contact Stephanie Crouch, at stephanie@gwca.org or 512.323.9595 x 3053.

• Peter is a beautiful 1 year old boy with deformity of the left ear and severe hearing loss in both ears.  He has also been diagnosed with weakness in his legs, skin tags on left side and Hepatitis B.  Peter is very close to his caretakers and loves to be held. He will often play peek-a-boo with the blanket on his bed. He can babble and laugh out loud and knows the difference between acquaintances and strangers. Peter is very active and loves to play with other children. We recently received an update on Peter informing us that he can stand up and sit down by himself and can walk a few steps independently.  He is also able to locate the direction of sound when called by name.  When he is happy, he lets you know with an “Ah, ah” sound. 
• Andy is a loving 6 year old boy who has been diagnosed with severe hearing loss in both ears as well as potential developmental delays due to his hearing loss. He also has a mild condition that causes his head to tilt to one side for which he received has physical therapy. He is currently in foster care and does very well with his foster family. He is able to say “mama” and “baba” as well as communicate with informal sign language. He is very helpful and has good self-care abilities. He is shy around strangers and very outgoing around people with whom he is familiar.
• Richard is a handsome 8 year old boy with a hearing impairment. Though he was originally diagnosed as deaf, it has been determined he does have hearing in his left ear. His caretakers and doctors have been working with him on regular basis to try and improve the hearing he does have. He is able to speak and understand others. He is always seeking out others to play with him. Richard studies very hard and is eager to learn new things. With his gentle disposition, he often helps the staff and other children complete tasks, and he is always kind to others. He is a bright and sensible child who places a high value on affection.
• Michael is 10 year old ray of sunshine.  He is diagnosed with sensorineural deafness, secondary glaucoma and a cataract. He is described as naturally optimistic and always has a smile on his face.  Because of his hearing impairment, Michael attends a special class in the institute. Though he is not able to hear and say anything, he is very eager to speak out and express his feeling. His great desire to speak, along with help from his caretakers has allowed him to learn speech by observing and imitating people’s mouth. He is able to say some simple words clearly such as “Dad” and “Mommy.”
• David is 10 years old and is deaf. He is healthy, active, energetic and busy. He likes to watch the cartoons, and he will laugh loudly when he is happy. He is generous and is wiling to help his caretakers do anything they need within his abilities. He likes all kinds of toys, and his inquisitive spirit drives him to take toys apart and fix them.

To access our agency’s full individual list, please complete a Waiting Child application (http://www.gwca.org/node/254). Remember, there is no cost to apply.  Your application will be valid for 6 months. If your application was submitted more than 6 months ago, we now ask that you please fill out a new application.  Applications older than 6 months will no longer be considered.  This will help us assess your continued interest in the program as well as keep us up to date on the needs your family feels comfortable accepting.

If you would like to receive information and updates about China’s Waiting Child program, please join our Yahoo Group. This group is intended to provide updates and information to families interested in adopting a child through the waiting child program. To sign up, please send an email to the following address: greatwall_wcpu-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Our story begins many years ago when my wife and I met.  We have both worked our entire careers in pediatric health care and loved children.  We always discussed having a large family and our dream was to have four or five children.  Fast forward many years and we have three amazing boys.  Unfortunately, our last two pregnancies were very difficult on my wife.  All the boys are healthy and just perfect, but the thought of having another long, complicated pregnancy was not on our horizon.  We have always discussed adoption as an option for our family and felt this was the best time to move forward with this plan.  In December 2006 we sent in our application to Great Wall.  We completed our home study and dossier requirements and were logged in on May 29, 2007. 

As the next year passed we kept thinking about our adoption and wondered “how long” is it truly going to take?  We kept thinking and reading about the waiting child program and considered this as an option for us.  We would think about our boys and wonder, “If they were born with a special need, would be love them any less?”  In the end, we decided that our daughter was out there *waiting* to find us. 

On 8/12/08 we filled out the waiting child application online.  We looked at our already busy lives and made our “checklist” of special needs we felt we could truly incorporate into our daily routine.  We were surprised to find the extensive list of needs that we felt would not really be a “need” affecting our daily lives.  Once we were comfortable with our choices, we submitted our application with the mindset that it was out of our hands now.  On October 25, 2008 (a Saturday!) we got a call from Stephanie at Great Wall telling us she had a child’s file we might be interested in reviewing.  The file was for Lin Jia Jun, a 12 month old little girl with cleft hands and feet.  We knew very little about this condition and we did not know what implications this would have on her fine and gross motor function.  One look at her face and we were already in love! 

That being said we still needed/wanted to get her information to an orthopedic specialist.  We could tell from her pictures that her hands were mildly affected and we knew this was an easy fix.  We did want someone to tell us for sure that she would be able to walk.  In our quick “internet research” we could not find any information leading us to believe cleft feet would cause walking problems, but during that emotional rush of a possible referral we needed to hear this information from someone “official.”

To add stress to the situation, Jia Jun’s file was on the shared list.  We sent all her information to our pediatrician who forwarded it to his orthopedic colleagues.  They promised to look at the file and contact us Monday morning.  We talked with Stephanie again on Sunday night (around 9pm!), and Jia Jun was still on the list.  We shared our feeling of “wanting” to lock in her file, but of our other “want/need” to hear from the surgeon first.  Stephanie helped calm us down and told us that many families feel this way.  I remember her saying, “In the end it always works out, and your child will find you.”  Little did we know how true that statement would become!

On Monday morning Stephanie called us back to say that Jia Jun’s file had been locked by another agency.  We were devastated.  We felt this was our child and we were kicking ourselves for not going with our gut instincts and locking her file.  Stephanie stated she would continue to watch the list and let us know if Jia Jun’s file popped back up.  Later that day our orthopedic surgeon contacted us and provided us the information we needed to understand Jia Jun’s condition.  There was nothing in her file that made him question her ability to walk.  In general, people with cleft feet have normal gaits (walking ability).  This made the pain of losing her file even worse.  We continued to stare at her picture and wondered “what if.” 

Fast forward to Wednesday morning ,and Stephanie was calling us at 7:30am.  Jia Jun’s file was back on the list!  Before thinking twice, we locked her file.  We were not about to lose her again!  We flew into paperwork mode over the next several months.  Before long we were headed to China on February 26, 2009.

On March 2, 2009, Maeve Jiajun Loehr joined our family.  It was such an exciting time.  She has meshed with our boys so well and we can’t imagine life without her.  We quickly learned that not only can she walk, but she can run, jump, climb, skip, dance, tumble and just about any other thing she wants to do.  She has had one surgery on her hands since coming home that required her to be in a cast for 3 weeks.  At this point there is no future surgery planned.  It is to the point that we have to *remind* ourselves that Maeve was once considered a special needs child.  We love her so much that we no longer see anyone other than our beautiful daughter.  Don’t get me wrong, we see her hands and feet everyday and know she will have to answer a lot of questions her whole life about them.  It is frustrating, and we do wish she didn’t have to deal with that.  At the same time we think, “If this is what it took for God to get Maeve into our family, then we wouldn’t trade her for anything!”  Stephanie was correct, and it did all work out in the end and our child found us!

Good afternoon!

The Waiting Child application was just updated to encompass the most common special needs we see in the children who are waiting.  One need didn’t make the list originally but is on the application now.  If you feel you would be open to ichthyosis and would like to add it to your application, please contact Stephanie Crouch at stephanie@gwca.org!

Also, this need will not be added to the list as it is not commonly seen, but there are a couple of children currently waiting who are diagnosed with osteogenesis imperfecta or “brittle bone disease.”  If you feel you may be open to considering this special need, please contact Stephanie asap!

Thank you!

I was asked to share my experience with the special needs program and I readily agreed.  We adopted our son Timothy from China in May of 2008.  We started the adoption process wanting a healthy child and assuming we would probably get a little girl.  After all the paper chasing was done the wait had gone from 6 months to over 3 years for a healthy child.  I had thought about special needs adoption before and was always keeping my eye on the lists.  I talked to my husband about it and we agreed that we would be open to a special needs adoption and started looking for a child.  I tried to familiarize myself with some special needs and some medical terms.  Our agency started a new photo listing of special needs children and I looked on it for a couple of months.  Even though I didn’t see the child I thought was mine it did make me look at some conditions I wasn’t familiar with.  One day when a new list came out I saw what I thought was a baby girl (he was dressed in pink & white).  His special need was deformity of the feet.  Something about this child immediately drew me to him.  I made some calls to get better photos of his feet and then showed the little guy to my husband.  He was about 10 months old at the time and my husband agreed he felt the same draw I had.  We already had our dossier logged in and wanted to try to get this baby boy.  It took all day to do what we needed to do but we got it all done.  I don’t think we ever blinked an eye about knowing we wanted him.  We had already been logged in since Oct. of 2006 and this was Jan. of 2008.  We decided to keep this quiet until we knew we would be granted prior approval.  That wait was agonizing because we were already so attached to this little boy.  In the meantime I tried to gain more knowledge of his condition.  We got lots of opinions but mostly “We can’t really say until we see him.”  Somehow, we were able to take that leap of faith and be confident that this child was meant to be ours.  It didn’t take long for us to get PA and then start getting ready to go get Chu Xin Shun from Xuzhou, Jiangsu Province, China.

We were finally ready to travel in late April of 2008 and didn’t know what to expect since my husband and I had neither one flown, ever.  We were so excited but sad we had to leave our then 8 year old daughter at home.  When we got to Beijing it was a strange, new world to us.  All I could think was give me the baby.  We were really ready to meet him by the time we got to Nanjing to pick him up.  The nanny from the orphanage carried him in screaming and it was a wonderful day.  He stopped crying but seemed in awe of his parents.  We asked the director some questions and realized he was still so small at 13 months.  He couldn’t sit up, eat solid food or even roll over.  He was almost like a newborn baby.  We looked at his feet sometime after we got back to the hotel.  He had one toe per foot and was missing a lot of the forefront of his feet.  We were not sure if they would grow or stay the same.  We were in love.  We were also exhausted the first couple of days.  He hadn’t been carried very much so he didn’t hold himself up well.  Mostly ,we were just in awe that this little guy, our Timothy, was indeed ours and would go home with us.  It felt like we had know him forever.  We had told all our family about him and his special need but some of the family were worried how he would really be.  We both knew from the time we got him we made the right decision.  Coming back to the states was a relief and tiring at the same time.  It was a long plane ride.  As the family met Timothy at the airport they were as in love as his parents.  Everyone wanted to meet him over the next few days.  Timothy settled in alright but was not sure about strangers. 

As the next year progressed Timothy got better at lots of things.  I don’t want to say it was easy but it was the best year of my life.  Hearing him say Mama and Daddy and Sissy, learning to crawl, learning to eat and in amazement at it all.  Timothy made a trip to Shriner’s hospitals and we learned his feet probably wouldn’t grow and it was advised amputation would be best.  I can still remember thinking Oh, God, no not that.  We prepared ourselves and him as best we could for surgery.  On the day we went to have him admitted he started toddling around.  We couldn’t believe it, this little guy would not let anything stand in his way.  The surgery went well but it was the hardest week of our lives.  Timothy knew his feet were gone and was in a lot of pain.  We made it through 6 weeks of casts and him being upset daily.  They got in his way but he didn’t let it stop him.  After his casts came off and the swelling went down he was fitted with prosthetics.  He has so much spirit and will that it doesn’t even phase him.  He can even walk very well, even run without them.  Yes, our son does have a special need but we thank God every day we were up to the challenge.  The special needs program may not be for everyone but these children are truly unique and can bring something wonderful into a family.  We are working on our second adoption of a special needs child and feel we can help at least one more child.  You may not realize how strong you are until you have to face a challenge.  In our case, we were willing to take a chance and feel so blessed to have this wonderful additional to our family.  Our entire group that went to China brought home special needs children.  We stay in touch with most of these families.  4 of these families are returning to adopt a special needs child.  We have found that most of the group has had a remarkable experience with the child they adopted and feel like their child was made for their family.  My advice to anyone considering special needs adoption is to find out about what special needs you would consider and talk to some families with experience in special needs adoption.  They will tell you the good and the bad.  For this family, we know it was the right thing for us.  Our entire community sees our child as an inspiration to anyone with an adversity or not.  When you see a child that is happy and healthy that has been through so much, how can you not try to do your best.  Thank you for this opportunity to share our story and experience with Great Wall’s waiting child program. 

– Anita Lee mom to Timothy Andrew Lee DOB 3/26/07 from Xuzhou , Jiangsu , China

Years ago, I was a Chinese linguist in the Army.  At that time I was lucky, my instructors were such a wonderful group of ladies.  They shared so much with me about Chinese culture and history.  The class was even invited to their homes for special occasions.
 
I had always known that children were in my future.  And it didn’t take me long to realize I wanted to adopt.  But I had no real plans until these incredible ladies started to share with me the plight of girls in China through experiences they had gone through.  At  that point, I knew I wanted to adopt a Chinese daughter.

Shortly thereafter, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and had a wonderful son.  A few years passed and my adoption dream kept hounding me.  My mother felt I was crazy for considering it… I was already a single mother of one child.  But I just couldn’t let it go.  I chased a few boyfriends away… but started the adoption journey.
 
I met a wonderful man.  A man who had adopted a son.  His son was grown already.  We saw something in each other.   As a friend, he totally supported my decision to adopt.  Soon, he became more than a friend.  And although still technically single, I wasn’t alone in this anymore.
 
We’d originally aimed to adopt a healthy child.  But through a series of tough life lessons, learned that my son was a “special needs” child.  We discussed what we were able to handle with him and in Oct 2008, we decided we could definitely handle another special needs child.
 
On my boyfriend’s birthday, Dec 10, 2008, we found Grace (then Guang Yue Fang).  At that point, she was only diagnosed with arthrogryposis (or “clubbed feet and hands”).  I saw her picture and knew.  I was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis as a child and have suffered with it my whole life.  I knew that I could relate to her and help her.
 
It seemed to take forever.  About a month before we were to travel, the orphanage reported that they discovered Grace also had spina bifida.  At that point, we did a lot more talking, a lot more praying.  I felt so strongly that this was the child we were destined to have… in May, 2009 I traveled to China to adopt Grace.

I was worried when I realized Grace was from Guangzhou… so there was a chance she wouldn’t understand my Mandarin and I knew no Cantonese.  I worried for nothing.  They walked her out to me and she understood me from the first.  To say there were no bonding or attachment issues is putting it mildly.  I instantly fell in love with this amazing, independent, stubborn, intelligent little girl and she was equally fascinated with this hugely tall, American woman. 
 
We had a couple of rough spots; once she felt I might not want her since she was disabled and I was too emotional to explain myself.  Our guide explained to her about my arthritis and that seemed to relieve her.  I showed her pictures of her Daddy and big brother and Nanny every night.
 
When we arrived at the airport in Baltimore, after the LONG flight home… I wasn’t sure how she’d take to the rest of the family.  But again, I worried for nothing.  She fell in love with her daddy and he with her.  They have a love affair that warms my heart and brings smiles to my face. 
 
She and her brother have the typical love-hate sibling relationship.  There are times when they are so loving and kind towards each other.  And times when they squabble and tattle.  I believe they will be great friends as they grow up.
 
We live close to Baltimore, so Grace went to Johns Hopkins.  We discovered she has spina bifida occulta, the mildest form of spina bifida.  And the specialists believe that a few surgeries from now, Grace will walk fairly normal (right now she walks on the outsides of her feet, not the bottoms). 
 
Grace has undergone her first surgery - to untether her spinal cord.  It was hard but I also think it brought us closer as family.  She learned that we wouldn’t leave her and she could depend on us even when things were hard.   I believe she’s starting to accept that we’ll always be there for her.

A journey begins with just one step. Sometimes you are not completely sure where you are headed, but you know deep down inside you must take that step. This was very much the way we felt as we collected all our paperwork to complete international adoption. I wanted very much to have a daughter, my young son wanted very much to have a sister and my husband said, “Why not? What else do I have to do with my life that will mean as much?” So we collected papers, got fingerprinted (over and over again) and sent in lots of money on a dream that had no clear vision on how it would end.

At one point during the seemingly endless adoption process, my husband was working in Utah for an extended period of time. My son and I spent a large part of our summer vacation out there exploring the beautiful Wasatch mountain range as well as several memorable trips to Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon as a happy family. I remember very distinctly one day Evan and I were in downtown Salt Lake City getting some adoption forms processed when an omen we wouldn’t realize till later presented itself to us in the elevator of a government building. Sharing the ride with us was a woman with two children; one of which was a precious little girl from China. This woman was collecting paperwork for her second adoption. In that brief few minutes on the elevator we talked, and from out of nowhere (or so it seemed) she said, “Don’t forget the waiting child list, your daughter may be waiting for you there.” Apparently that is how she found her first precious little girl.
 I kind of blew it off at the time because that was not my vision, but months later her words came ringing back to me.

After waiting about a year and a half, our dreams were starting to fade as report after report reinforced the ever changing reality of adoption. The timelines were increasing and the predictors on the internet predicted that it would be at least a 4 to 5 year wait for us. This was discouraging news, especially for us, as my husband is 10 years older than myself and I was not getting any younger either. After a long discussion we decided to complete the application for a waiting child. As a professional in the field of disability I had a pretty good feel for the type and severity of disability I would be willing to take on. I think in the beginning we were more curious than anything else, but then I remembered the words of the lady on the elevator in Salt Lake City, and I thought, “What do we have to lose? Maybe our daughter is on that list.”

After just 2 or 3 months we got a call……Stephanie said, “There is a little girl on the shared list you may be interested in. She is a bit older than what you have indicated you preferred, but you might want to take a look”. I said, “Sure, we can take a look”. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her. It was an immediate physical and emotional response to a picture on the computer. We all stared at the computer multiple times over the next few hours and reviewed and discussed the accompanying information fully realizing the importance of the decision we were about to make. It was agonizing waiting the couple of days it took to get the opinions of the doctors. She had two scars on her left leg and really not a lot of additional information. She seemed to be developing normally in all areas; she just had these imperfections on her leg. As I looked into her eyes in the photo (over and over again) her age scared me, knowing bonding might be difficult, but something just felt right. She was the first waiting child we looked at and she was the one.

Things started to happen pretty quickly after we made the decision to adopt her and we were headed to China 3 short months later. The trip was the most wonderful experience of our lives. Qincy Mae became ours almost two years to the day that our dossier was registered in China. There was one moment of concern when she was delivered to us in Nanning, as she no longer had two little scars as stated in the referral information, but one big one about seven inches long. She had apparently undergone a second operation during the time we accepted the referral and the time we got there. We had spent a little time with her before we discovered this and we quickly concluded that this was not a deal breaker. She was a very sweet little girl who had been through a lot in her 4 years of life. It was clear she was a survivor, a glass half full kind of person. She had been in foster care for the two years since she was found on the steps near the gate of the orphanage in Southern China. She was obviously very well taken care of and well prepared for her adoption. Qincy began immediately to bond with us and us to her. She is so easy to love. Qincy is amazingly resilient, almost always happy and just a joy to be with. It has been a seamless transition. Oh… at first there were a few tense episodes that were obviously about grief, loss and adjustment, but they have really been few and far between after the first few months.
 
Qincy turned 5 shortly before school started so she was able to begin Kindergarten in the fall after experiencing several months in a Montessori school. Her English skills are amazing and her teacher told me after 6 weeks of school she was ahead of approximately one fourth of her English speaking peers (after only 9 months in the country!). She is bright, beautiful and absolutely the perfect child for our family. The doctors are not worried about the scar on her leg as it gives her no problems at all. They said we could have it removed when she gets older if she wants.

As we look back now, almost a full year since we traveled, we have almost forgotten about all the waiting, the paperwork, and the money. We could not imagine a life without her now as she is so ingrained into the fabric of our family structure. She feels totally at ease in our home singing, and enjoying her family as though she’s always been here. The journey to our daughter was without a doubt the journey to fulfillment for our family, a journey to wholeness and a completeness that we didn’t understand or even realized we lacked. We took a leap of faith and it has turned out well to this point. Our lives are so much richer now as we learn new Mandarin words, eat new foods, and celebrate new festivals and family days and holidays that just seem better than before. Words really only go so far when struggling to express the feelings in our hearts. Our journey to Qincy has been the absolute best and we wish for all who read this a similar journey of love and fulfillment.

Stephanie Crouch, our Waiting Child Manager, has compiled another short listing of children from the shared list for families to view.  Please go take a look, and let Stephanie know if you are interested in learning more about any of the children!  You can access the listing with your personal password at http://www.gwca.org/node/251/  The photolisting is within the .pdf titled “Updated 12.10.2009 CCAA Shared Agency Listing” above the listing of our GW kids. Please note, the last update to the shared list was on 12/1/2009.

If you do not have a password, please first fill out our Waiting Child application at http://www.gwca.org/node/254 and you will be emailed a password.